10 Simple Tips How to Deal With Manipulative Coworkers

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(Last Updated On: July 4, 2023)

The average worker spends a good portion of their day at work. When you work with different personalities, you are likely to encounter at least one colleague with whom you do not agree or disagree. You should know how to deal with manipulative coworkers successfully and effectively.

You may also encounter someone who is manipulative and enjoys towing with a guy to get what he wants with him. These people can make the task difficult, so you need to find strategies to deal with them.

What are the signs of manipulative coworkers?

In the complex dynamics of a workplace, it is not uncommon to encounter manipulative coworkers who employ cunning tactics to achieve their own objectives. Identifying manipulative behavior is crucial to protect yourself from its detrimental effects on your mental well-being and professional growth. This article aims to highlight the common signs exhibited by manipulative coworkers, enabling you to recognize and address such behavior effectively.

1. Constant Shifting of Blame

Manipulative coworkers often exhibit a consistent pattern of deflecting responsibility and shifting blame onto others. They employ tactics such as:

a) Denial: They deny any involvement or responsibility when confronted with their mistakes or shortcomings.
b) Finger-pointing: They actively and persistently blame others for their own errors or failures.
c) Distorted narratives: They manipulate facts or twist events to create a version of reality that absolves them of any accountability.

2. Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a common tool employed by manipulative coworkers to control and undermine their colleagues. Look out for the following signs:

a) Guilt-tripping: They use emotional tactics to make you feel guilty or responsible for your own shortcomings or problems.
b) Emotional blackmail: They manipulate your emotions by threatening negative consequences or withholding support unless you comply with their demands.
c) Playing the victim: They portray themselves as perpetual victims, seeking sympathy and attention while manipulating others into providing assistance or favors.

3. Undermining and Discrediting Others

Manipulative coworkers often resort to undermining their colleagues’ credibility and sabotaging their professional growth. Observe the following behaviors:

a) Spreading rumors: They engage in spreading false information or gossip about others to tarnish their reputation.
b) Taking credit for others’ work: They steal or take credit for the achievements and ideas of their colleagues.
c) Exclusion and isolation: They purposefully exclude or isolate certain individuals from important projects or activities, hindering their professional progress.

4. Controlling and Domineering Behavior

Manipulative coworkers often seek control over their colleagues, displaying domineering behavior that undermines collaboration and fosters a toxic work environment. Watch for the following signs:

a) Micromanagement: They excessively monitor and control the work of others, undermining autonomy and stifling creativity.
b) Aggression and intimidation: They use aggressive or threatening conduct to coerce others into submission.
c) Power hoarding: They withhold crucial information or resources, using them as tools for manipulation and control.

5. Lack of Accountability

Manipulative coworkers frequently evade accountability for their actions, displaying a consistent pattern of irresponsibility. Look for the following indicators:

a) Shifting goalposts: They constantly change expectations, making it difficult to meet their standards and shifting blame when things go wrong.
b) Excuses and justifications: They offer elaborate excuses or justifications for their mistakes or failures, avoiding personal responsibility.
c) Lack of remorse: They show no genuine remorse for the negative consequences of their actions, making it challenging to hold them accountable.

To summarize, recognizing the signs of manipulative coworkers is crucial in safeguarding your well-being and maintaining a healthy work environment. By being aware of the constant shifting of blame, emotional manipulation, undermining behavior, control, and dominance, and the lack of accountability, you can identify manipulative individuals and take appropriate action. Remember, protecting yourself from manipulative coworkers allows you to foster a positive work atmosphere and focus on your own professional growth.

How to deal with manipulative coworkers

In any workplace, we are likely to encounter different personalities and behaviors among our coworkers. Unfortunately, some individuals may resort to manipulative tactics, making it challenging to maintain a healthy work environment. Dealing with manipulative coworkers requires a combination of self-awareness, assertiveness, and effective communication skills.

This article aims to provide you with practical strategies to identify manipulative behavior, protect yourself from its negative impact, and foster a positive workplace atmosphere.

Follow these tricks:

1. Talk and guide

Talk to the person about their behavior. If a colleague constantly tries to manipulate you and it hinders production or organization and team goals, pull him aside and talk to him.

Describe the truth in a positive way and try to take the other person’s feelings into account. You want to deal with him in a way that is helpful to the situation without damaging his self-esteem. If that doesn’t work, it may be time to talk to your manager.

2. Learn to say no

Learn to say no to a person. Pay attention to the language that individuals use to trade with others. According to Modesto Bee, a manipulative colleague can present an immediate threat to your work and your sensual well-being. Avoid being victimized simply by not saying their request.

3. Recognize Manipulative Behavior

The first step in dealing with manipulative coworkers is to recognize their tactics. Manipulative individuals often exhibit consistent patterns of behavior, such as:

a) Gaslighting: They deny or invalidate your experiences, making you doubt your perceptions and feelings.
b) Playing the victim: They portray themselves as innocent and unfairly treated, diverting attention from their own actions.
c) Passive-aggressiveness: They express hostility indirectly, using sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or subtle insults.
d) Excessive flattery: They shower you with compliments and praise to gain favor and manipulate your actions.

4. Set Clear Boundaries

Establishing and communicating clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with manipulative coworkers. Be assertive and define what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Here’s how:

a) Clearly communicate: Articulate your expectations and boundaries directly, using “I” statements to express how their behavior affects you.
b) Document incidents: Keep a record of manipulative incidents, including dates, times, and details. This documentation will serve as evidence if needed.
c) Seek support: Share your concerns with a trusted colleague, supervisor, or human resources representative to gain perspective and support.

5. Maintain Professionalism

Remaining professional is essential when confronted with manipulative coworkers. By doing so, you avoid sinking to their level and maintain your own integrity:

a) Stay composed: Keep your emotions in check and respond calmly to manipulative behavior. Emotional reactions can be manipulated and used against you.
b) Focus on facts: Stick to objective facts and logic when engaging in discussions with manipulative individuals. Avoid getting drawn into their emotional traps.
c) Refuse to participate: When possible, disengage from their manipulative tactics by not engaging in unnecessary interactions or arguments.
d) Preserve evidence: If manipulative coworkers resort to undermining or sabotaging your work, keep copies or records to demonstrate their actions.

6. Seek Support and Build Alliances

Dealing with manipulative coworkers can be isolating, but remember, you are not alone. Seek support from trusted colleagues and build alliances to collectively address the issue:

a) Find allies: Identify coworkers who share similar experiences and concerns about manipulative behavior. Strength in numbers can make it easier to address the issue.
b) Approach your supervisor: If the manipulative behavior persists and affects your work, consider discussing the matter with your supervisor or manager. Present your concerns objectively, backed by evidence.
c) Seek mediation: If the situation does not improve, consider involving a mediator or human resources representative to help resolve the conflict impartially.

7. Take control

Take control of the situation. According to Good Morning America, you shouldn’t be stuck waiting to change another person’s behavior. Take control and change the way you approach situations. Sometimes you can change another person’s behavior by changing your own.

8. Avoid

Get away from the person who is trying to drive you. An effective way to stop a coworker’s coworker is to avoid them. Take breaks at different times. The busier you are, the less time you have to approach the person with the request.

9. Don’t over-react

Don’t overreact to a difficult colleague. Keep calm and keep up your work When you overreact, you can give away individual ammunition to destroy your credibility. He can complain to management that you have lost your great job.

10. Relax

Cool and relax during the day. If your company has a gym, try working out at least part of your lunch break or take a walk. Moving away from a somewhat difficult situation provides time to think about what happened and how to best solve it.

Final thought

Dealing with manipulative coworkers can be challenging, but by recognizing their tactics, setting boundaries, maintaining professionalism, and seeking support, you can effectively protect yourself and foster a healthier work environment. Remember, your well-being and job satisfaction are paramount, and you have the right to a positive workplace experience. By implementing the strategies outlined in this article, you can navigate the challenges posed by manipulative coworkers and maintain workplace harmony.