Good social skills are vital to working successfully in life. There are several types of social skills. These skills enable us to know what to say, how to make good choices, and how to behave in different situations. The extent to which children and adolescents possess good social skills may be involved in their academic performance, behavior, social and family relationships, and extracurricular activities. Social skills are also linked to the quality of the school environment and the safety of the school.
Although most children acquire positive skills through daily interactions with their adults and peers, it is important for teachers and parents to strengthen this casual education through direct and indirect instruction. We must also identify when and where children choose behaviors that may be detrimental to their development or protection.
In the past, schools relied solely on families to teach their children important interpersonal and conflict resolution skills. However, the increased negative social impact and demands on family life make it important for schools to partner with parents to facilitate this social learning process. This is especially true today as social skills play a critical role in maintaining a positive school environment and reducing school violence.
The result of good social skills
With the full repertoire of social skills, students will have the ability to make social choices that will strengthen their interpersonal relationships and facilitate success in school. Some of the results of good social skills include:
The positive and safe school environment
Resilience in children during future crises or other stressful life events.
Students looking for a suitable and safe way for aggression and frustration.
Children who take personal responsibility for promoting school safety.
The result of poor social skills
Students with poor social skills are shown:
Experience difficulties in interpersonal relationships with parents, teachers, and peers.
Reject extremely negative reactions from others that lead to a high level of peer rejection. Peer rejection has been linked to school violence on several occasions.
Show signs of frustration, aggression, and anxiety.
Demonstrate poor academic performance as an indirect result.
Show a higher incidence of involvement in the criminal justice system as adults.
Types of social skills
Although there are hundreds of important social skills for students to learn, we can organize appropriate interventions into their areas of expertise to facilitate identification and assessment.
For example, the “Stop and Think” program organizes skills in four areas:
Survival skills (e.g. listening, following directions, ignoring distractions, rewarding yourself with beautiful or bold talk)
Interpersonal skills (e.g. sharing, seeking permission, joining an activity, waiting for your bar).
Problem-solving skills (e.g., seeking help, apologizing, acknowledging consequences, deciding what to do).
Conflict settlement skills (e.g., teasing, losing, complaining, peer pressure)
Before deciding the best way to help a student develop better social skills, it is especially important to understand what a student can and cannot do. Determining and classifying the nature of a child’s social skills deficit is crucial to design and implement the most appropriate intervention.
Children may have difficulty performing skills
Due to a lack of knowledge (acquisition deficit), for example, children do not know skills or discriminate when skills are appropriate. For example, when a child receives a pencil from a peer in class when he or she is needed because he or she does not know how to properly ask to take it tomorrow.
Despite persistent knowledge (performance deficits), e.g., how the child knows how to perform the skill, it fails to do so consistently or at an acceptable level of competence. For example, although the child realizes that he should raise his hand to speak in class, and is often done, he sometimes rattles off a comment without raising his hand.
Adequate or energy levels (flow deficiencies), such as how the child knows how to perform and are motivated to perform, but exhibit insufficient performance in the absence of exercise or adequate response. For example, a student has learned what to say and what to do in the face of bullying, but his or her reactions are not yet strong enough to succeed.
Competitive skills may be due to deficits or behaviors, e.g., internal or external factors that prevent the child from displaying competent skills appropriately. For example, frustration, anxiety, hyperactivity, or negative motivations may interfere with the demonstration of competence inappropriate conflict resolution, although skills have been taught and taught.
Interpersonal skills include sharing skills, engaging in activities, seeking permission, and turnaround. Those who lack social skills can fight by asking the right questions. Failure to ask a simple question hinders information and initiates conversation. Those who are struggling to ask questions will appear as uninterested and even anti-social. Individuals with poor social skills may prefer to ask closed questions because for these short and controlled responses to adults who have limited social skills, they may struggle to learn the right behaviors in different social contexts and settings.
Problem-solving involves seeking help, apologizing to others, deciding what to do, and acknowledging the consequences. Some people may struggle to identify the root causes of the problem, so they may not fully understand the possible solutions or strategies. People who struggle to solve problems can be embarrassed or clinically introverted. They may prefer to avoid problems because it makes them uncomfortable. Those who struggle to solve the problem are probably less likely to solve the conflict. Some kids struggle to properly cope with teasing, while some adults have problems with losing a competition.
Some people fear being publicly criticized if they may struggle with admitting blame for problems or dealing with constructive reactions. Some people naturally associate accountability with reliability and maturity. Anyone who promises to do something and then fails it may have legal excuses, but their lack of accountability may show that they are unfaithful and immature. Accountability is also an essential part of conflict management because recognizing mistakes is a great way to indicate a supportive and collaborative attitude.
Basic communication skills
These include the ability to listen, follow directions, and refrain from speaking. For example, listening skills involve the ability to concentrate and the ability to ignore distractions. Good listening skills are demonstrated by giving careful attention, such as shaking and smiling and responding to what has been said or discussed.
It also includes the ability to refer to past comments, such as to tie a current statement with a previous one or to query about potential, future ideas, actions, and events. Primary communication skills include body language and behaviors such as eye contact, physical stability, and sensitive attention while the other person is speaking.
Empathy and Significant Skills
Certain cognitive, behavioral, and mental health conditions may limit one person’s ability to feel empathy and connect with others. These include autism that brings about documented social vulnerability and borderline personality disorder. People who suffer from severe social anxiety and who are extremely self-conscious can show little or no attention to anyone else.
This means that some people with anxiety are desperate to please others and avoid conflicts, so they pay close attention to what others say or always help or favor the volunteer. On the contrary, some people will be overwhelmed by their social environment, and others will simply shut up.
There are many reasons why a person may lack social skills. This may be due to a lack of knowledge, such as an inability to acquire new skills or a skill shortage. Sometimes, individuals know how to perform social skills, but they may struggle to perform because of limited practice or inadequate response. There may also be internal or external factors that interfere with the person performing the social skills, such as anxiety or a chaotic environment. Here are five general skills shortages.
Those who want to improve their social skills should focus on imitating attitudes and eliminating unwanted behaviors. They can use modeling, role-playing, and performance feedback to improve their specific social skills deficit.
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